Monday, January 29, 2007

Something I Dread...

As I sit at the computer desk, I ask myself, "Why does my dad always ask me to do this? I mean I'm tired and want to go to bed." A large cloud of air strikes me and I start to get a cold feeling in my body. The cold air is telling me to get up and clean the kitchen. As I get up to go clean, I hear the kitchen floor squeaking. The sound gets louder as I become closer to the place where I have to do my dreadful work. Before I decide to clean the kitchen, which is calling me, I step into the dining room to examine the dirty sanctuary I must clean. I finally say to myslef, "The sooner I clean, the sooner I'll be done," and I begin to clean.

6 comments:

Mr. Jana said...

Thanks Anjelica. I particulary enjoyed your use of figurative language, like when you described the reacion you feel from talking to your father, as "a large cloud of air ..."
Also, writing that the kitchean is "calling you" is a great example of personification. Keep it up.

Mr. J

Anonymous said...

You had some pretty descriptive words like:

- Strikes
- Cold
- Dirty

You used all these words really well in your sentences.

? Chris Sefcik ?

Kate Gallagher said...

Anjelica!

I really liked how you used the following words;

- Strike
- Dreaful
- "..cloud of air.."

Your writing really conveys a mood, a sort of creepy, horror movie feeling. I like it a lot because it keeps me wanting to read more.
nice work :]

Chris Connell said...

This is mad pro your descriptive language really set an inticing mood for the reader

$CHAKIA$ HTH HUMMANITES BLOG said...

That was tight gurl I really liked your descriptive words

-strikes
-cloud of air

the way you started it i couldnt stop reading it persuaded me to read more.

$KIKI MACKIN$

Brittany Davis aka Babygirl said...

you used discriptive word really well in this writing piece. so now higher your goal, and try to write more and be more descriptive.